I Won't Last a Day Without You
by DetectiveMinerva
Summary: Following her explosive introduction to life in New York, Jessica is exhausted from the events of yet another murder case... and she doesn't want Seth to leave after all as she realizes that she won't last a day without him. "Deleted scene" from S8E01, "Bite the Big Apple."
Surprise! I have not one, but _two_ MSW stories tonight! The Season 8 opener "Bite the Big Apple" is one of my all-time favorite episodes for three reasons: 1) The well-crafted mystery, 2) the establishment of Jessica's second home base in New York, and 3) the most important reason: the wonderful, sweet showcase of Jessica and Seth's friendship. Although she constantly tried to put on a brave face and an air of confidence while Seth was there (particularly after her apartment had been ransacked), I get the feeling that, privately, Jessica felt vulnerable after everything that had happened. And, she was also happy that Seth had shown up after all. So... I wrote this little "deleted scene," expanding upon some feelings I thought were always there.

I also want to give a shout-out to the awesome jesmaine, whose one-shot "Full Circle" (check it out on The Definitive Guide to _Murder, She Wrote_!) was an inspiration for this story. Thanks, girl!

 _Imagine Person A of your OTP gently cuddling with Person B and just sinking their head into Person B's tummy and falling asleep and wishing they never had to leave._

* * *

 _As far as I'm concerned, this Big Apple is rotten to the core._

In his perpetual spates of grumpiness, Seth had a tendency to exaggerate, but, in this particular instance, Jessica was loath to agree with him. When she'd returned to the apartment, after helping to bust Lieutenant Boyle, she'd told Seth the whole sordid story: the lieutenant's involvement in smuggling and his murder of both Harry and Michael Freelander. The frown mark between his eyes deepening, Seth spat out the aforementioned opinion. However, Jessica had to wonder if his anger had less to do with Boyle being the killer than it did with Boyle being the one who'd knocked her on her butt in the Freelanders' store and _then_ attempted to shoot her.

Sometimes, Seth overdid it with his fierce protectiveness. At the end of the day, though, Jessica always gave thanks for his loyalty. When he'd first shown up at her door, completely unannounced, and proceeded to launch into a snarky commentary about her "nice, safe neighborhood," she felt somewhat smothered – and chastened, like a child being given the _I-told-you-so_ lecture from a parent. Granted, though, the apartment had been trashed, and her excuse of "I wasn't even here when this happened" fell flat on its face. Seth said it well when he'd sensed that she was in some kind of danger.

 _Pretty silly, wasn't it?_

His remark may have been laced with sarcasm, but deep down, Jessica knew that Seth had been right to worry. He knew her better than anyone else on Earth, and the bond between them was so strong, so deep, that he could tell whenever she needed him the most. There she was, alone in a cold, lonely city full of strangers. She'd arrived with confidence and great hopes for her new life in New York, but walking into her shattered apartment made her feel as though she didn't belong.

Then, out of the blue, Seth had shown up. He _always_ showed up to help her, even when she didn't know herself that she needed help. And though this help was usually punctuated with grouching and snarkiness, he never failed to show her how much he cared for her. He always had a smile for her, no matter what.

A smile she would miss dearly once he left. Tomorrow morning, Seth was going back to Cabot Cove. Jessica knew she would see him soon, as she was coming home for the weekend, but she still had an odd, gnawing ache in her stomach... an ache that seemed to grow stronger as she made up Seth's bed on the couch. On the blanket, she caught a whiff of his cologne, and the spicy cedar scent gave her a strange desire to hug him. _Why? It's not like I'll never see him again. I don't need to cling to him; I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself..._

 _But once he's gone, you won't have anyone to confide in here or someone to hug when things go wrong. You don't have any real friends in New York... not like him._

 _What should I do?_ Rarely did Jessica find herself so vulnerable, even in her own thoughts.

 _Hold on to him. Even if it's just for tonight, hold on to him and let him hold you. Let someone else take care of you for once. After all, he's the only one who won't take advantage of any vulnerability you show._

An excellent point. Seth was the only one she could be truly vulnerable with, because he would never judge her or use her, as some of the other men in her life had done.

 _Lean on him. Trust him._

"Jess?"

His voice suddenly snapped her out of her reverie. Jessica blinked once, twice, then looked up from the sofa bed. Seth was standing mere feet away, clad in pale blue pajamas. She had worn a robe over her own Pjs, but, for some reason, she still didn't feel covered enough, physically or emotionally. _Why?_ she asked herself again. _Why should I feel like this? He's my best friend! We know each other better than anyone!_

 _Exactly._

"Jess?" Seth repeated, taking a cautious step forward. It was almost as though he was afraid to approach her. "Is somethin' wrong?"

Darn him, he could always tell. Long distance or right before her eyes, he just knew. "I... I know I already told you I was glad you had that crazy hunch, and I thanked you for all you've done for me in the last two days..."

"But?" Seth prompted.

"But I haven't thanked you for just _being_ here. Cleaning up this place would've been an awfully lonely experience without you."

"So would solvin' the murder, given that look I'm seein' in your eyes." Seth's hazel eyes suddenly crinkled as he smiled. "Bet you're glad now that I was muleheaded about not leavin' you alone."

Jessica laughed. That stubbornness had frustrated her to no end, but now... "Infinitely." The laughter faded as quickly as it came. He _was_ leaving tomorrow, and she _would_ be alone. "You know..." She sat down upon the made-up sofa. "I'm gonna miss you, Seth."

The gruffness in Seth's next words belied the tenderness she saw in his eyes. "Pshaw, woman. You'll be too busy teachin', dealin' with smart-aleck college kids, and drivin' the entire NYPD stark ravin' crazy..." Here he gave her the _I-know-you'll-get-into-more-trouble_ look, "to give me a second thought."

Jessica shook her head. "Of course I won't. I'll just..." For once, she seemed to have trouble finding the right words to say. Stress, the sense of violation, betrayal, and her strange feelings about Seth all seemed to be taking their toll, and she was beginning to feel exhausted in every sense. All she could do was channel her thoughts into, "I'll miss our daily breakfasts."

Seth chortled heartily. "Oh, so will I! No one can cook up a good breakfast like you, Jess. Of course..." He sat down beside her on the couch. "I don't come over every mornin' just for the food, you know."

She did know. Seth must have sensed that she meant something deeper behind the trite little words. _I'll miss seeing you every day. I'll miss your company. I'll miss my friend._ "I know," she finally said aloud. "Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I don't know about you, but I wouldn't last a day if it was me," Seth said softly, brushing a stray curl away from her forehead. He cracked a tiny smile as Jessica tried to mask a yawn. "You're not gonna last much longer yourself."

"Seth, I'm fine." As soon as she said it, she regretted it.

"Ayuh, I can see that," was the wry reply. "You've gotta get some sleep. Come on." Seth rose from the couch and held out his hands to help her up. Jessica, however, didn't budge. "Jess? You have to get up to get to your bed, unless you want to trade sleepin' spots."

"I don't."

"Then what's the problem?" Seth asked, resuming his seat. "I can tell by the look on your face that you've got a question burnin' inside you." He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "What's on your mind?"

The soft touch triggered a memory from just that afternoon. Jessica had returned home disheveled, bruised, and chastened from her encounter in the Freelanders' store and subsequent chewing out by, irony of ironies, Boyle. Needless to say, Seth was more than a little worried when she told him the facts.

 _Jess, are you hurt?_

Those four little words, accompanied by the very same sweet touch, were spoken with great concern – and love, as only Seth could say it. She'd sensed then that he wanted to pull her into a hug and comfort her, and she was getting the same vibe now. This time, though, she welcomed the chance. "Can I just sit with you? Can we just snuggle up for a while?"

Seth blinked, clearly taken aback. "Well, sure, Jess, but... what's brought this on?"

Jessica offered him a wan smile. "I'm tired, Seth. Between conspiracies, smuggling, murder, and having my new apartment torn apart, I've had a real baptism by fire in New York. I never thought I'd be so glad to have you along for it, and the sad thing is, you're going to be gone tomorrow."

Seth smiled. "And this from the same woman who said she'd only be gone two or three days when I worried about the same thing?"

Jessica blushed. "I know. But, like I said, I'll miss you. With all that's happened, I just need..."

Seth tilted her chin upward, so they were looking each other in the eye. "A hug? A friend? Someone to hold you for a while?"

Lord, he knew her so well. "All of the above."

Seth didn't need any further explanations. "Come here," was all he said as he gathered up the blanket. Jessica pulled her legs up and snuggled up against Seth, sinking her head into his soft stomach. He draped the blanket over them both and wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tender squeeze.

Jessica closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. For the first time since she'd arrived in New York, she felt safe. Safe and loved. Happiness filled her soul even as her body succumbed to long-awaited slumber. "I wish you never had to leave," she murmured, half-asleep, unsure of what she had just said.

It could have been just a dream, but before sleep claimed her, Jessica could have sworn she heard Seth whisper in return, "Me too, Jess. Me too."


End file.
